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Frequently Asked Questions

So now we have a FAQ. I've put off making one mostly because a lot of the questions I get are about me, and the site is not about me. 

Will Five Secrets ever be updated again?  

How many posts do you get a day?
We just started taking submissions again, so not many these days. 

Is that you on the top of the site?
Yes. I was too cheap to buy a stock photo and snapped it myself. I am very cheap. 

What kind of secrets do you reject? What is too offensive?
Nothing. I have never turned down a submission for being extreme. I turn down submissions that are not complete, repeats, and submissions that aren't secrets at all, and that's it (see guidelines here). I occasionally get a submission that is incredibly shocking and have to make a call as to whether or not I should put it up, but so far I always have. The way I look at it -- we are all in this together and it's not up to me to decide what is acceptable and unacceptable for other people, only for myself. 

There are many things that appear on the site that I would never do myself, but at the same time, I haven't lived the same life as whomever is posting it. If I had, I might consider it acceptable to beat someone up or steal from a family member, or whatever. Even those who talk about abusing children or raping people have often been abused themselves, and it's impossible to say what that might do to a person's perspective on the world and other people. By and large, people are doing the best they can. Sometimes when life has been really rough, the best you can do is pretty awful by the standards of other people who haven't been through the same things. 

The only exception is that every once in a while I will get a post that is a direct insult to another poster, or to the readers of the site as a whole. Usually these posts would be rejected anyway because they aren't secrets, but there have been posts here and there that were technically secrets or at least secret-like, but mean as hell. I  want Five Secrets to be a supportive, non-judgmental forum -- and that includes anything and everything that my readers are hiding. I use the same basic logic when moderating comments, but occasionally I will let a mean comment go through if I feel it's warranted, such as in the case of posts that are obviously intended to be inflammatory or upsetting. 

Are you qualified to give professional advice?
No! As I like to say, I'm just a chick with a website. When I give readers advice via links, titles, email, or messages at the end of posts, I am doing so only out of a desire to help. Readers should not consider me any more qualified (or liable!) for my advice than a trusted friend or confidant. I do not have any training in psychology (other than Psych 101 like 10 years ago) and I provide advice and resources when requested or where I feel it might help based ONLY on my own life experience and whatever I can find on Google. 

Many readers of written in both privately and publicly to let me know that Five Secrets has helped them in one way or another, and that is what I love most about Five Secrets. However, if you don't like what I have to say or don't want to take my advice, feel free! I'm no authority on anything -- I just can't sit here and do nothing when I know I have a reader/poster who is suffering. 

You're always "admin" or "K" on the site. What is your REAL name?  

Kelly. Not as exotic as you hoped, eh? 

Do you ever post your own secrets?
No. There was one time that I was feeling really depressed and several people had recently asked me if I ever posted (for some reason I didn't think to add this to the FAQ at that point...) and so many people tell me it's cathartic to post that I thought it might be a good idea. However, it just isn't the same when you are the one reading and titling the secrets. I mostly just felt pathetic... so I deleted the post from my spreadsheet about five minutes later and pretended that it never happened... until I told you all just now. So yeah, I don't post. In a time long long ago, I got the idea for Five Secrets from a craigslist thread. I DID post my secrets there. They weren't very interesting. I also sent sorta-secrets to a fan that I corresponded with once. With these not-really-exceptions, no, I've never posted. 

Those are the only questions I can think of that I've gotten more than once or twice. This page will be updated once in a while when I feel like it. Sorry I'm not updating at the moment, and maybe never again. If you still want to reach me for some reason, email 



  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. What is your educational background? Are you offering qualified professional advice? Or are you just a voice for commonsense.

  3. That is a great question!

    Short answer -- I'm just a chick with a website. I have a day job, but it has nothing to do with mental health. I'm actually going to add that to the FAQ -- so many readers ask me for advice and I always qualify my advice by reminding them that I'm not professionally qualified to advise them, but I never thought of adding it here. Thanks for the question.

  4. I'm a psychotherapist that specializes in suicide, depression, anxiety, and ,marriage/family/sex counselling. If you are interested in attaining some clinical advise for those who are in critical need of advice beyond what you feel comfortable giving...I would be glad to help out. You have a wonderful site that many turn to as a coping mechanism. I think that it's a great resource and forum to vent. Keep up the great work!

  5. I just wanted to say.. K you are fantastic :-) The posts that you comment on makes me hopeful that the poster heeds your advice. You are so genuine and sincere. I'm sure there are many posters and readers alike who appreciate your advice. I think most people just want to know that they're not always alone in their struggles.

    Aside from the donation area - Have you considered having advertisers post. Even though ads can be a nuisance and clutter up your clean site.. it would be great if you could generate income for yourself. Retire early :-)
    Best of luck to you.

  6. Hi Ed --

    Sorry for not responding to your comment sooner -- I thought you were someone I knew and tried to talk to you about this IRL :) As you might imagine, that was a failure. I do occasionally get posts where the person seems to be in true crisis, and though I do my best I never know if I'm saying the right things. If you'd like me to contact you when I get those types of posts, please submit/leave a comment/email me with your contact info.

    To the most recent anonymous commenter -- thank you. I just got a submission this morning from someone who told me that they were annoyed with my input on secrets and my titles and I should just save it -- so your comment gave me a much-needed boost. As far as advertising, I used to have adwords on the site but some of the content is too risque for the program so I abandoned it. I'm not against the idea of putting ads up, though most of the site traffic comes through the apps, so it is likely that I will eventually put an ad module into the free app.

    Thanks again for your support. Sometimes I need it too.




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