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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Success can be scary

1. Even though I have been engaged twice since him and it has been over 3 years since I've seen him, I am still in love with one of my ex's... every time I tell my now-fiance' I love him I have to force myself not to use his name.

2. I used to be a stripper and often wonder what being a prostitute would be like. I think I might like it because I love hearing someone thinks I'm hot and to have someone pay to fuck me would be the untimate ego boost. Sometimes I masturbate to the idea.

3. I hate talking to strangers and meeting new people but also hate not having many friends.

4. I haven't had a real conversation with my best friend in almost a year because I feel akward that she would probably leave her fiance' for me. Even if I'm straight a part of me wants to run away with her because I feel free to be the real me when I'm with her.

5. I purposely don't fufill my potential because I'm afraid of success because I am not used to it. I'm more content with somewhat failing in life because it is familiar.

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