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Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Good Samaritan

1. I have a couple of suger daddys :) but don't see them often because they are both married. I don't feel bad cause they say they've been married for 20 + years, they don't have sex anymore, they live in seperate rooms/parts of the house..etc..bullshit..and to tell you the truth I don't care. They treat me well, I'm 25, not looking for anything serious and having great time w/ no strings attached sex. And why not make an old man smile? Good deed for the day!

2. I live by and love 2 songs #1 by Aaliyah Called "I can be" and 2 a dj quik song that goes.. "I don't want to love you, I just wanna fuck you"... untill I went out of town and met this guy (I completely adore) while out at a party. Turns out he works 40 mins away and lives about an hour away from me. We started to see each other, I think I'm falling. Perfect right? NO!! he has a live-in girlfriend of 3 1/2 years. (FYI HE TOLD ME THIS 2 days before our trip) But obviously I didn't care. By no means am I trying to break up or come between a happy home! its all in good fun right? Hell no I'm falling hard for him, I think I'm in love him, want to make love to him, I hate her, I don't even know her but I do! I wanna be with him, ME!!! Ugh it feels different.. When he leaves I miss him right away..almost to tears

3. We only have been seeing each other for about a month and have already gotten into a few tiffs. We're both hot heads, truthfully I can see how this will play out...bad fights followed by passionate fucking and making love. Its toxic, I'm drawn to it. I accepted to go and to continue OUR thing thinking the feelings I had could be pushed aside to just have fun, go out, go on trips and have great sex. Nope even though we had setbacks on the trip and him having a girlfriend - I still want him..Saw him yesterday, had great sex and somehow ended up getting into it over lunch. we called everything off, then take it slow, now we're off again! Grrrrrr!

4. I DON'T WANT GO TO HELL FOR COMMITING ADULTERY!!! Among other things I may go for (hopefully not, must ask for forgivnesss!) I'm trying to break it off with him. Indeed, I Told him a couple of times tonight in fact! I know it's not right, foolish, naive, bad karma (scary), i'm going to be the one to get hurt, he won't leave her, I'm 15 + years younger and he says were on different pages... probably true, he has kids not 10 years younger than me, yikes! they will never accept me, ever!! i'll be forever know as the homewrecker..the really pretty, sexy evil model bitch homewrecker..

5. He says he's sorry and doesn't want to hurt me and its not fair to me..lol I really don't think its fair to her, he's so slick, she doesn't have a fucking clue. He texts me, calls me all the time, tells me how much he loves being with me, enjoys my company, how sexy I am. Sometimes I'm sure while he's sitting or laying next to her, love it! Evil huh?  we've spent a couples of nights at my place and went out of town together, lol I'd like to think I'm stealing him away from her little by little and one day he will he leave her for me...but then reality sets in, he won't leave her, she has him and I'm alone in my apartment plotting her demise..bitch.. anyways Tomorrow I'm sure he'll call, I didn't answer his text tonite, it'll drive him crazy. like me, he's drawn to the toxicity that is our love.. and yes when he calls, i'll take him back, he'll probably come over and you know the rest...he will be "#3" and "I can be" on the side...

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