1. I am using meth and no one knows, not even my wife.
2. In the past month I have tried to overdose 3 times, last time I did an ounce in 2 hours.
3. I have hired 5 employees at my office, all women at least 18, and banged them while recording it without them knowing.
4. I want to f*ck my wife in the a*s but I don't know how to tell her her p*ssy is to loose after 5 kids.
5. I met my wife 15 years ago at a high school party. she thinks I saved her from getting taken advantage of while passed out drunk, no I was just the last guy and she woke up after the 3rd time I nutted in her.
Bonus
6. I went to philly to close a business deal. Not -- I had a snip snip so I shoot no baby makers.
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