Looking to trade up

1. I think I'm falling for my fuck buddy.
2. I'm thinking about leaving my boyfriend since he won't leave me. He's way better off with someone who wouldn't cheat on him and get a fuck buddy while he's away. Which he knows about the cheating and my fuck buddy. He says he won't leave me because he loves me too much.
3. I secretly hope I get pregnant by my fuck buddy and definitely NOT my boyfriend. I want a baby, but I don't want one with my boyfriend anymore. I'd much rather have my fuck buddy's baby. Not to trap my fuck buddy into being with me, because to be honest I'm not even sure if he'd stay and help take care of it anyways. I just want to have his baby for some reason. My boyfriend and my fuck buddy both don't use condoms. My only fear is when my boyfriend gets back that I'll get pregnant then and won't know whose baby it is.
4. First time I fucked my fuck buddy I cried afterward. The second time I was filled with happiness. How does that make sense at all?
5. I also hated my fuck buddy until today. For some reason I ended up almost telling him I love him during sex...That would've been bad since he's against love and relationships.