Newly wedded bliss

*So I've been married for less than a month and a half and i've already cheated on my husband. Once with a guy friend, he actually surprised me with how great it was. And an ex girlfriend too.

*I know that i'll cheat on him again. Not with a guy, but with her. I know she wants to go down on me but in reality I just wanna do it to her. I'm just waiting for the right time because when we mess around we go on for hours. I love seeing her squirm ;) though it might sound like it's all about the intimacy we're so in tune emotionally.

*I think its funny how nobody would suspect us. We're both pretty, unique-looking girls and guys always try hitting on us to get us in bed. I actually just like guys to watch us even if it just making out because I can feel how jealous and hard they get wishing they were in on the action.

*I think the only reason cheat with her is because her attitude reminds me of my husband. If I wasn't used to the constant sex when he's home and attention it would be a lot easier.  Both of them always aim to please me sexually, but emotionally she's the only one who really knows how to take care of me. Sometimes I don't think he cares as much anymore.

*I had never had more trust in anyone but my husband my entire life, but just a couple of days ago I kinda lost hope. I feel he's just used to the idea of me. I'm not sure what to do. Somedays I'm his queen and other days I'm no better than some hood rat off the streets. Even though he treats me the way he does I love him more than anything in the world. She knows this yet she's still there helping me through all my problems. I know that if I keep things going I'm going to lose someone very dear to me. The sad part is, that I'm starting to lose sight of who that's going to be.