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Um, not sure what to say about this one

1.) I think the difference between myself and others is that I don't wanna be sick in the head. I've never really realized how far I am from where I need to be until now.
2.) Someone that is supposed to be my friend pissed me off the other day over something that was really small and i'm still thinking about it, I know thinking  about it still would be normal if I were thinking how I just wish we could be friends that never get into it but i'm not, i'm thinking about how stupid I think she is, how she couldn't get class if she paid for it. I wanna curse her out so bad and when I think about it I know i'm truly this  pissed off because  I wrote her off in my mind along time ago when we were kids..point is I should be able to get over dumb stuff like this but I sit and marinate on it instead.
3.)  This guy that  i've been talking to and doing everything under the sun with for over a year does not deserve me in any way possible and i've known this for a very long time.  We are 2 different races, If he's so pro -mexican then what the hell is he doing screwing me. I know what you're thinking..he's just screwing me  huh...? Well yeah that would make sense if he didn't take me to his family's house all the time or if he didn't bother to fix arguments in our relationship, well sometimes anyway. Why does he sometimes tell me he loves me? I'm not a  bug- a-boo or anything, I don't call him he calls me, I don't even perform sexual acts on him..I throw it back here and there during sex..he can get somebody else if he wants to. He thinks that i'm so dumb I'm going to let him keep breaking me down, forcing me to believe i'm not good enough for anything but I know he knows I can easily go out and meet somebody else but I won't. Boy is he wrong because I'm going to be on top of everything this summer..i'm working on it now.  Almost Every dude i've ever met has wanted me to feel like i'm not good enough but in a real sneaky took me all this time to realize i've been abusing myself mentally and emotionally since I can remember  and people like him have been contributing in a not so obvious way, but all this time I should have just embraced me, after all people have been telling me" if I tell you how  fine you are you'll get big headed". Why are these people who are obviously sick themselves attracted to me, like seriously who in their right mind wants their girlfriend or friend to feel like they're not good enough especially when they're not cocky or confident acting.
3.) When I get mad I laugh..only i'm not laughing because  everything's fun and games but because I can't believe things are often as stupid as they are,  lots of times i'm crying and laughing at the same time while contemplating what will happen if I go to the next level...I wonder if there is another level.
4.) I'm signing up for  jiu-jitsu this summer, hoping it will relieve me of physically wanting to beat the crap out of people... as for certain people ( guy i've been talking to), i'll be  honest I hope they try me so i'll have an excuse to put them in submission.
5.) I get furious mad when watching movies..I often join the bad guys side once I realize how stupid everyone is in the movie, a good example would be the "saw" series...that movie pissed me off so bad only I couldn't join the bad guy in those movies because they are some of the dumbest characters ever...dumb girl with short hair suppose to be athletic turned bad guy looked so stupid and then the cop looked even  stupider then her and the dumb old man looked dumbest by far.. This is for everyone on here" because you did not appreciate your life you must have to find away out of this rat race to live" lol, didn't the doll look like he had his picture taken at lamms studio...with the dumb bow tie and head tilted to the side lol?? Why didn't anybody warn me about how stupid 10,000 bc was?


  1. "who in their right mind wants their girlfriend or friend to feel like they're not good enough"

    I'd say it's a control/power issue for them. Messed up people do messed up things. They feel better knowing you feel worse. Retarded, it's true, but such is the world sometimes.

    Also, why would you need someone else to warn you about 10,000BC... I saw the trailer, that was more than enough to signal 'awful movie' to me. I'd rather go see the mammoth at the museum in town (he's actually kind of cool).

  2. haha you said said stupider. Way to make yourself sound smart.


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