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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Selfish, no -- Sad, yes

1.my brother use 2 rape me when I was little for yrs well untill I got my period in the 7thgrade he always made me feel bad like it was my fault nd if I told I would get n trouble nd he would go 2 jail I was young n dumb nd belived him smh I have younger sisters nd always felt like he would do these things 2 them since he stop messin wit me but I'm still ashamed 2 say that it actually happened (selfish rite) he lives @ my grandmas nd he's now 26 nd bout to b married so I think it was jus a faze...
2.my cousins use 2 molested me as well it was 4 of them 1 bein a female she use 2 mess wit my brother kinda 2 but the boys didn't kno that all of them was doin the same things 2 me 1 of them even made me like him touch me n front of a group of his friend.....my grandma caught 1 of my cousin molestin me n the pool nd I got n trouble 4 it how sad
3.as I grew up I relized none of that was my fault nd I kinda put it 2 the back of my mind I never told ne 1 ne of these things sooo I always played like I was a virgin since I was forced @ a young age 2 have sex wit my brother,so n my eyes kinda I lost my v card @ 18 to this boy that I'm still n love wit even tho he did me wrong cheated on me wit my friend that he didn't kno I was n contact wit,nd then we broke up nd remained friends he slept wit another "so called" friend who knew I lost my "v" 2 him nd claimed she was pregnant by him also she stole the name I had 4 my baby nd named her baby that (who knows if it his she nasty)
4.I also been talkin 2 this guy since I was 17 on nd off I'm sooooo n luv wit him likse I wanna marry him nd have his kids only prolblem is he has a girlfriend but he's not n luv wit her or he wouldn't b layin next 2 me as I write this ;-)
5.I'm addicted 2 sex I lost my "v" @ 18 I'm now 21 nd I done had sex wit aleast 13 different dudes sum I jus met nd then sex em,sum was 1night stands,sum I jus didn't like so I didn't do them again lol nd sum I jus only wanted sex frm every1 around me thinks I'm so nice n sweet nd innocnect nd that I only selpt wit 4 ppl if they only knew lol

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