Family matters

1. im 15 an im just so fed up with my life. I went with this boy in 8th grade but we be up in the summer. now its two years later & i still love him so much. since we broke up I feel like crying everyday it feel like  i cant live without him. he had sex with three of my friends & he think I shouldnt be mad just cus we were broke up bit but I still have the right to be mad. I guess they wasnt my friends tho
 i still talk to one of the so called "friends" but I just cant get over what she did to me.
2. Im really depressed, i dont never cry tho. I think that adds too my depression. my dad is a bad alcoholic an him an my mom marriage is falling apart right in front of my eyes. but I think if they divorce I will be happy cus i wont have to hear all the arguing. but I also think if they divorce my daddy gon drink hisself and die. an I really dont want that to happen. its like i can already see death in my daddy eyes.
3. since 9th grade I developed this bad depression an now i have a really bad attitude. I just really wanna die cus i kno everyday im becoming a bad person .
4.i tell my mom all the time I need some type of counceling but she won't belirve mer because she dont know how i feel. idnt feel comfortable telling her anything. my momma is really stressed because of my dad. he acts really crazy wen he drunk an she cant take it nomore. I love my momma but she get on my nerves so bad. u know she stressed cus she has so much responsiblity since my dad dont help with nothing.
5. i really don't see the point of living because at the end we gonna die. but i think im bipolar an I dont know what im gonna do with the rest of my life an I really dont care cus ima just die anyway. but Im just so fed up
    

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