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Your feelings don't change until you change your feelings

1. I'm a liar. I hate being one and I never lie about big or important things, but ill easily add on to a story. I don't know why but I hate it. No one knows I do.

2. I have a rather high self esteem, or at least everyone thinks so. I have a really low self esteem when it comes to girls.

3. I had my heart broken a while ago, and although I'm mentally over it, I have a hard time falling in love, in fear of the same thing happening again.

4. I however recently fell in love with my best friend, but she doesn't know. My self esteem prevents me from telling her. I was also forced to help her hook up with a guy that I didn't know she knew and that I already hated. My heart is shattering once again, and I fear ill never love as I used to.

5. I hate my life, all of these are just a small things on a bigger concealed picture that no one takes seriously. I really want to end my life, I have no one to turn to about my suicidal thoughts, because either they will make a big scene out of it and let the world know, or they will think I'm being ridiculous and over reactive. However lucky life I live I still feel this way, and hope every day someone will kill me. If my feelings don't change soon ill do it myself.

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