I'd rather stay here

I might have breast cancer. I never thought this would happen, just started college and is really focused. I don't understand. Why is God doing this to me. I haven't told anyone, not even my friend* 

I'm still in love with him, but he's leaving.

I have these moments where a dark cloud covers over me and I get depressed. 

Sometimes it last for days. Other times it will only last for one.

I've thought of killing myself before, but never had the guts to do it. I understand that I'm loved in this world and there would be a lot of disappointed people if I were to kill myself. 

I'm a true believer in God and I believe that he's going to be coming real soon to bring us all up to Heaven. I just hope it happens soon.

Bonus: I really hope God has a good plan for me...b/c it's not looking too good so far...

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