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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Loyal to a fault

1. I'm too loyal. Loyal to a fault. It always burns me, and in the end I am left standing alone. Every time.
2. Sometimes I really wish I was not here anymore. I'm tired of losing everything I love and everything that defines me.
3. It makes me angry and upset when people feel they are too good to set aside their pride. Is it really worth destroying someone's life over? Sometimes a smile, or a kind word is all it takes to change someone's life or perspective. It can make all the difference.
4. Sometimes I think I'd be way better off alone. When you don't love, you can't be hurt by it. Friends are no better. In the end they always find a way to dick you over or leave you in the dust.
5. My heart is heavy, my eyes bloodshot and puffy from constant crying, and my soul feels lost. I have to hide it,  and it makes it hurt that much more.

[Admin here--

I have been in your shoes too many times, including the very recent past. It often seems that everyone will disappoint in the end, and the loneliness of giving up seems easy to deal with in comparison. Beyond that, human beings and their thoughts and behavior patterns are so complicated, it's often extremely difficult or even impossible to understand where the other person is coming from. I've always believed that given enough communication anyone can work through just about anything with anyone else, but unfortunately that is easier said than done.

Whatever it is that you are going through, try to examine it and see where it is that you might have gone wrong -- especially if it's your own misplaced loyalty to other people that is at fault. It's more important to be loyal to yourself than anyone else, even though that is often very hard to do. Feel better & thanks for posting.

K]

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