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Over the high school thing

*I used to pull it my hair and eyelashes because I felt so unloved. It made me feel relieved everytime I did it. I told my mom that my hair would fall out and I didn't know why and I would cry about it all the time. I still haven't told her wwhy I was balding and had no eyelashes. she thought I was really sick
*I fall for guys to easily and it really bothers me. I like to think I'm a strong independent girl but I'm really not.
*I have weed. I haven't smoked it yet but I really want to because I just want to get high and forget everything
*people hate me. i don't know why just everybody hates me and always talks crap about me. I try really hard to be extremly nice to people and I think I'm a nice person. I honeslty think it's just because people are jealous. and it's mostly girls that hate me so it makes sence that they'd be jealous
*I sent a guy a picture of my boobs once. he sent me his penis. I completly regret it because he's a total asshole I don't even know why I did it
*I just want to be in a happy relationship and feel loved and be happy. I feel like if I actually search for something like that I'll never actually find it. I don't wanna jinx myself.

I don't love myself at all. I think I'm ugly and unloved and sometimes just wanna die. but somedays I think I'm pretty and love my self. I think it's just because everyone around me is so immature. I'm over highschool I just wanna  grow up and leave. the people here make me litterally crazy 

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