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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The marriage is pointless and stupid generation

To "back to school." I belive you and I share the same predicament. The procrastination, the friends situation... Your words sound as if they came right out of my head. We truly are not alone, though we have no idea who one another is...

1: one friend got engaged on Christmas, another found out she was pregnant. I am jealous to the point of depression, and I hate myself for not being happy for them. The second even told me she would consider abortion if she was... U"I wanted my baby... But my body had other plans. Now I et to watch her carry a baby she really didn't even want, I'm glad she changed her mind, but, it's still painful.

2: my family thinks that my boyfriend and I are going to get married. I thought we were going to get married. Until he said marriage was pointless and stupid. I just keep pretending that he's gong to ask me one day, mostly so that my family doesn't think he is just going to turn out like my last relationship.

3: my insecurities are carrying over from my last relationship and I feel like I'm ruining this one because of it. He loves me, but I keep seein hints of behavior that make me feel that he is not really in love with me.

4: I have more debt hanging over my head than even I know.  Between hospitals and banks I don't think I'll ever be able to have good credit and I am so ashamed I can't even begin to make myself find out the debt.

5: I've isolated myself because I have too many people I care about. Stupid, I know. But I wear myself thin trying to keep all these people happy and I feel like they are okay with out me, so I just stay away. I use work as a co er to why I don't call or visit. I have no idea what time management is... Lol. I really want to go see a therapist and figure all this out.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: bisexual



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