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Not a fat ass accident

#1- I'm 18 ,but wen I was seventeen,my bohfriend,whom I had only bn dating for about 6 months asked me to get pregnant by him bcause he saw us together,for ever and hes constantly dreaming of our little baby together wich was a boy in his my stupid self went for it all bvause I was stressed about school,home,friends(life period).so wat thr hek,i went for it,. Two monthd later on his birthday I got pregnant.every1 thinks it was a fat ass axcident,but our dream child isnt.but I feel so stupid and used..i do absolutly everything.but if I even said that to him he would hate me .probly as much as I hate him and myself.
#2- I love my boyfriend soo much to the point wer Id do anything for him and I have as u can c.but its wierd bcause he feels the sam way exept I think he might b a little obsessed with not sure if its bcause we have a son togther or the sex is just that great or mayb it culd just b me all together.
#3- I wish I didnt love him so everything about him is way too perfect.hes like every girls dream guy.he even loves to eat me out.and he has an amazing body with the matching,he thinks im adorable when im dressed down.
#4 - I think im addicted to sex.i wish I was celebate or gay.i realy just dont want to get pregnant again.or not by to scared thT il b stuck in this same life.(caring for two but only one cares for me,my son).i wish I culd hVe sex with som random guy who wil allow me b a teenager for a while.i jus want to party,get drunk and try some amazing herbs that wil take my pain I honestly think im becoming bipolar,bi,and I need some fucking help.i admit it.
#5.i hang out with his best friends alot.there the only ppl I associat with other than family so wen I think of any other person to fuck I think ppl I know ( his friends).its not my fault.its his.if he wuld watch his son more often then I wuldnt think if fucking his friends.i wuld hav my own friends to flirt with.i kno wat ur thinking.i need help. I need feed back,comments,advice,something people!.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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