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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A good bullet to bite

[One] I fell in love when I was 15, I'm 18 now and I still love him with all of my heart. I know it sounds stupid, having fallen in love at such a young age and "thinking" it's going to last...but [when he was around] we went through so many changes and adapted to eachother every single time that all the advice I've gotten [even from K, no offense] about forgetting about him and it won't last and blah blah blah...well, I'm not so sure about it. I really think that if I can win him back and he's willing to give me another chance we can REALLY make it work. I just have to stop being such a jealous bitch...

[Two] I have no friends outside of my school, even in school there are only a few and they aren't that close. Every friend I've had has stabbed me in the back and now I feel like I push the people who try and become my friend away unknowingly because I think subconsciencely I'm afraid it's just going to happen again and I'll be the one hurt again and not them. I guess I need to bite the bullet and stop letting people walk all over me and use me...

[Three] My mom told me she was starting to resent me because of my depression issues, so I've been trying really really hard lately to be more positive and I'm doing amazingly well and I feel like she doesn't even notice my efforts that are for her. I've been trying my entire life to please her and I don't think I've made an ounce of progress. I really do feel so much better lately, but I still feel almost worthless because I can't please my mom.

[Four] This isn't much of a secret, but the "Letters Never Sent" secret made me cry like a baby. I related to it so much, and I don't even know what the person was going through with each person they wrote the letter to. I wish there was someway to get a hold of them, because I really feel like we could connect somehow and possibly become friends.

[Five] I always wonder if K gets annoyed at some of the posts on here that seem just like all the others, or what she thinks about and translates it into when sh reads them...and how she comes up with the names! Some of them are really witty and funny and others it takes me a few seconds to figure out how they relate to the post...and I wonder if she ever posts her own secrets.

*I've posted here before, on a few occasions actually, and I just want to say thank you to K for creating such a great site, I think you're an amazing woman for creating a place for people to go to have some sort of release, because it's helped me so much when I've posted and reading other posts I can relate to. So thank you so much, you deserve the best out of life and I hope you get it :]

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

[Admin here:
First, I went through something similar with my own mother and it went on until I was around 24 years old. Ultimately all you can do is stop judging yourself by her standards and instead focus on living up to your own. Congrats on working to alleviate your depression. Attitude makes all the difference.

In response to your number 5: yes, I get incredibly annoyed at the posts that seem just like all the others (I think readers do too) and I periodically take a moment to leave a comment like this one or write an admin post to remind people of that fact. Part of the reason there have been fewer posts lately is that I have been rejecting a lot of them. Posting and thinking up titles for submissions that are repetitive, boring, or absurdly emo and self-absorbed is just a waste of my time. I do this for less than pennies an hour and honestly, sometimes I get posts that are so obviously from someone looking only to draw attention to themselves that I get really pissed off, to the point I think about shutting down the site.

As far as my mental translation of posts, it's entirely dependent on the post. Some I relate to. Some disgust me. Some fill me with empathy. Some make me laugh. Coming up with a title is pretty much the same. I'm a writer by trade so that helps. Sometimes I come up with titles that I love but don't use them because I know they are so off the wall or obscure that most readers wouldn't understand them. It's much harder to come up with titles for posts that are boring or repetitive, hence the increase in rejects. I'm not sure how I feel about having to do that, but I figure it's better than giving them titles like "Normal Angst-Ridden Teenager #1", "Normal Angst-Ridden Teenager #2", and so on, which is something I feel tempted to do quite often (if any readers would like to weigh in on what I should do about those types of posts, feel free to leave a comment). And no, I never post my own secrets. Ever. Check the FAQ if you want more info.
K]



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1 comment:

  1. :)
    That was my secret.
    jaysie7890@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete

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