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Friday, March 4, 2011

It would be a pretty pointless lie

Today I realized my ultimate low. I am solely dependent on my husband. Without him, I would have nothing. I have no car, no job, nothing to support myself. But I guess I should be grateful for the roof over my head, the food to feed me, and the never ending love he supplies.

I have been trying to buy a car and get a job for the past couple months now. Out of, let's say, 20+ people about cars and 10+ companies for jobs, 2 car people have contacted me and one job contacted me. The 2 car calls? Sold it before I could even introduce myself. That one job? Sounded interested, never got back to me. I have a big feeling it's all because I'm female.

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. I don't know where it's all coming from. He has just been frustrating me so much lately. It extremely bothers me that he doesn't understand some things.

My mom is coming in a few weeks. It's going to be the first time that I've seen her in 10 months. I'm worried she'll be disappointed about my house and I. My dad did. Once he left he decided to rant to everyone about how much weight I've gained and how my house looked like shit. I hates how he tries to act so perfect when he's made the most mistakes.

I probably have gained weight and it's one of the worst things for me to admit. My self-confidence is dropping even though I have two amazing and handsome men telling me I am beautiful everyday and I mean the world to them. Too bad I can't believe them. I wish I could.

Gender: male
Sexual Orientation: straight



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