main navigation

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A terrible thing to waste

5) I recently realized that even though I have a lot more good friends than I used to, I really don't have anyone that I can talk to aside from my boyfriend.

4) I would go to hell if it meant my mom's belief in god wasn't a waste. I don't want her to be disappointed, so even if it means that I end up in hell, I hope there's a heaven for her.

3) I hate my boyfriend's family. His mom is a pathetic lazy leech that doesn't do a damn thing for herself, or her two youngest daughters (who are now learning her bad habits). She uses people, they have no respect for anyone, and I hope that eventually catches up to them. His father is...nice...but I hate what he does. I don't want my boyfriend to sell drugs for his father. I don't want my boyfriend anywhere near that. I don't care about the drugs themselves, I'm just terrified that somehow he'll get caught because of this. I want his family out of the picture honestly, they don't do him any good. He's better than all this...

2) I have the hardest time articulating my feelings for him. No, not really, that's a bad way to put it. I have a hard time telling him I love him. I can tell him literally everything, but I get so afraid and panicked when I try to tell him I love him. He knows it, and he says I'm getting better about it, I just hate it. When I love, I love with everything I am, with everything I have. Telling him that I love him is tantamount to telling him I would do anything for him. That being said, I have to admit, I'm terrified of him abusing that sort of power. I have no reason to believe he would, I just have a horrible deep-rooted trust issue when it comes to that I suppose.

1) If he asked me to elope with him, I'd do it. I've never been with anyone that makes me feel like this. Like I am what I'm supposed to be (if that makes any sense). I want that forever. I don't know if he's the one, but I really want him to be.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: n/a


Discuss this post.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting! Keep the conversation going here.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.