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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

In the category of, "I wish I could help you..."

1 I was once secretly taped at 16 by an older man who later showed me the tape...he was a fine upstanding citizen, but cheating on his wife with a teen. I didn't go all the way, just took off my clothes and played. When he mentioned a wife I put my clothes back on. Grandma would have been proud of me. Then later he showed me the tape. I was hot.

2. I have been married twice and loved both my husbands, but never had an orgasm.

3 I fantasize about a girl from my past teens who I had a major crush on, dream about her still. I'm not gay cause I've tried a few women also. Nothing.

4 I have always felt like an alien, not quite fitting in here on your planet. I have bi-polar disorder. (when they give you that diagnosis, they should also offer euthanasia. It would be a kinder end than living a life of never fitting in.)

5 My biggest secret is knowing I was responsible for the death of my younger husband. He was on meds for health issues, and when we separated and were heading to an ugly divorce, he stressed, didn't take care of himself and quit taking his meds and died as a result. I wish now I had fought to stay and work it out. His mid-life crisis wasn't worth losing a good man and great father over.

Extra bonus secret:
I wake up each morning crying at a new day. I go to sleep at night praying for oblivion. A spiral of death feelings the finest psychiatrists and high-dollar medicines have treated and still I welcome death.

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