Never is a very long time

1. I'll never be happy because I left my true love to have sex with another girl.

2. I ended up falling for the other girl, and wish I was with her instead of the girl I am currently with.

3. Out of all the people I've had sex with, only two have actually made me orgasm. The rest were faked...

4. If she reads this, do you want to run away with me?

5. I would love to be a stripper.