Part I: A man of many parenthesis

i cheated on my ex about 20 times even though we were engaged

i stole $2000 from one of my ex's mother because that stupid bitch used to stash all her cash under the mattress and there was A LOT OF MONEY, the bitch never even realized it that it was stolen

i date a girl right now but madly in love with another one, she knows that i love her but she's in a relationship with another dude (((i fucked my best friend's wife, and i still use her as a booty call bitch because she loves the way i fuck her. my girl cheated on me about 4 months ago and thinks that i don't know, but i'm gonna get her back soon ))) just looking for the one to cheat on  with ))

i tattoo myself with a utility knife and pen ink and when i cut myself i could almost shoot my whole load, that's how good it feels

i'm suicidal and a really easy to get mad person, i rolled my  friends truck off the cliff (271 feet down) because he pissed me off and i wanted to die that day.

[Note: This is a two-part set of secrets. Part II will be posted at 6:00 AM EDT.]