Rewarding behaviors

1. I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend, even if him and my best friend have been together for five months. my heart dies a little more each time I see them together.
2. i'm a cutter, and I'm addicted. I lie and say my cat did it if anyone happens to see.
3. I'm sorta anorexic. my mom gives me a sandwich everyday for my lunch at school, I just never eat it. I hardly ever finish all of my meals but no one knows. If I'm good all day and don't eat much, I reward myself with allowing myself to cut.
4. I talk to this guy that I hate partially because i feel bad for him but partially cause he's almost the only person who actually tries to talk to me.
5. I hate my mom because she gets drunk too much and I still blame her for breaking up my ex and me. I hate my emotionally abusive and controlling father. but mostly I hate him because I am just like him.