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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Robbing the cradle

1.) When I was 24 I had sex with a 16 year old co-worker.  He was the 2nd guy that I had ever slept with and I would have lost my virginity to him if it hadn't been for the guy who raped me only a few months before. I ended up getting pregnant to my co-worker. I was relieved when I found out 16 was the legal age of consent in my state so his parents couldn't do anything about it.  He was the first guy that I fell for.

2.) When I found out he had another girlfriend that he lied about, I sent his girlfriend copies of the results of the paternity test and child support order and ended up breaking them up.  I was happy I got my little piece of revenge.

3.) He never told his parents I was pregnant until my mother and sister went over to their house to confront them.  When they found out, they even tried to hide it from his girlfriend and lied about the paternity results to her.

4.) I try really hard not to be racist toward black people.  I don't even consider myself to be racist.  But my experiences and everything I see only seem to go against what I want to believe.  Just look at the T.V. on any cop show.  I'm embarrassed now that I'm pregnant to a black man.  Everybody in his family has been in jail, his parents are divorced, this will be his 4th child and each of them are to a different woman, and we are now broken up because he can't keep his dick in his pants.

5.) I'm lonely and don't have any friends because I let my shyness and constant feeling that everybody is judging me get in the way.  I know I have social anxiety disorder but I am so afraid to get help for it.  I know the therapists will judge me just like everybody else has.

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