Survival mechanisms be damned

1.I tried to commit sucide several times year and am too scared to follow through, so I stopped.

2. I've been admitted to 5 hospitals 3 of which were the same. the other 2 were worse than the other 3.

3. I really want to start cutting but there is no way to hide it.

4. I hate my life because there really is nothing I can do about it because everything I've tried does not work

5. If I wasn't such a fucking chicken I would be dead and/or just cutting myself.