Some guy's dream come true

I don't have a boyfriend for almost two years and I don't want to have one but I just want someone hot who would lick and fuck me every single day, in the morning when I wake up and before I go to sleep.

I just want sex sooo bad now with a 26 to 30 year old white guy because I'm a 21-year-old Asian. My pussy is sooo damn wet!

I feel guilty after having sex that's why I haven't had sex for almost a year now.  I'm such a good example for my siblings, cousins, and relatives and they all look up to me! :( but I couldn't just stop craving for sex everyday and ended up fingering myself.

I've had sex with my bestfriend's brother a year ago because he tried to rape me!!(really) though i wanted to be fucked that time too but not him! I wanted my ex to fuck me hard! And the thing is he is married, has a kid, and his wife is a friend to me. Our families are so close because we share the same business, my dad and his dad are best friends too. But until now, we haven't spoken yet! Though I go often to their house because her sister is making me her maid of honor in her wedding this June.

Lastly, I don't want to do with my life after my father's death early this year. I quit from my work, breaching a work and training contract..and sigh or whether to proceed to law school this June or work abroad instead??? :(