Don't do it.

Admin Here --

I received this submission at 7:21 AM eastern daylight saving time.

5. I want to die
4. I feel it more now and its growing every day ..
3.may 4 might be the day I take my life away..
2. There no one I depend on not even blood family ..
1. if today I take my life away will anyone notice...

I did not read it until a few minutes ago, and I have a message for the original poster which I hope does not come too late.

A few weeks ago I went to a local bar with some friends for karaoke night. I can't sing and I have terrible stage fright so I was only going to watch. Not long after we arrived, a guy walked past me and I couldn't help but smile at his retreating back. He was wearing a sage green suit and a matching fedora, and as I watched him walk away I thought to myself, "That karaoke dork knows how to work it."

Later, I cheered for his awesome rendition of Dancing With Myself and when I saw one of my friends sitting next to him on a bench afterward, I walked over to see what was up. To my surprise, she was trying to talk him out of killing himself. After a few minutes she left and I sat and talked to him for a long time about why he was depressed and said everything I could think of to talk him out of it, to urge him to get help. I told him about this website, and talked about how often I receive secrets just like these. When he left at the end of the night I hugged him and asked him to promise me that I would see him again at the next karaoke night.

When I went back the following week, I found out that he had driven his car into a telephone pole two days prior. His friends and his longterm girlfriend were there too, and all night people sang songs dedicated to him in between hugging each other, talking about him, and crying. There was a lot of crying.

I myself have struggled with suicidal thoughts off and on for most of my life, but the one thing that has kept me from it is remembering all the people who love me that will be left behind to mourn and wonder for the rest of their lives whether there wasn't something they could have done. No one's life is easy, but suicide is something that ends the suffering of one and results in suffering for many -- often for the rest of their lives.

I don't know if any of this is the right thing to say, because as I like to say -- I'm just a chick with a website -- but please just don't do it. Talk to your family or anyone you love, or call 1-800-SUICIDE and talk to one of their counselors -- do whatever you need to do to help yourself so you won't have to hurt the people who love you. Please. I didn't even know that poor kid who killed himself three weeks ago this Saturday, but I've barely stopped thinking about him since and I know I will never forget him.

To the other readers, if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please don't let complacency be your response. One of the number one risk factors for suicide is talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself, and it should always be taken seriously. The stakes are just too high.

-K