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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Boys like girls who like themselves

1. I know I'm pretty. I know that I can get almost any guy I want but I am the most self concious girl ever. I hate my body, I could afford to lose about ten pounds. I care what strangers think about me, am afraid to eat in front of people and almost always wear sweatpants because they make me feel less fat.

2. I masturbate. I am thirteen. No, not with my hands or a dildo. I watch porn often and know I need to stop. I just can't.

3. I always claim I'm a horrible liar. I really tell so many lies a day. I have lied to EVERYONE that's in my life. More than once and I don't feel bad about it.

4. I'm constantly trying to change myself to get a boyfriend. I know it sounds stupid, but whatever. The farthest I've gone with a guy is a hug. I've never even held hands with a guy. I would LOVE to have someone in my life that treats me well. Although I've lied about kissing someone too.

5. My dad is a deadbeat. He doesn't pay child support and doesn't call us. I cry because of it but in reality I don't care anymore. I feel really bad for my mom having to play both roles.

2 comments:

  1. "I care what strangers think about me, am afraid to eat in front of people" ...ditto.

    5. you must still care at least a little bit if you still cry about it. I've been through pretty much the same thing, but I don't cry anymore. However, it took me quite a while to get there.

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  2. yup...that quoted line...i can relate. i don't eat out especially if im alone and if i do i eat really slow, so people wouldn't see me stuffing my mouth. i remember a comment sirenetta left on one of my secrets post. 'she said if i don't like the way i look, only i could change that, i could either lose my weight or not care how people look at me' we all think that we cant change other people's life's with our little words but little do we know. i really did appreciate the comment that she left and it has stuck with me till now. thanks Sirenetta!!!

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