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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Can't buy happiness

1/ I wish my parents would understand that I don't like my own race. If I end up with someone like me, then so be it, but I'm not going to turn my head when someone comes along that isn't Filipino.  I wish they would understand that being with another race isn't bad or gross or unwise. I wish they would get that we're in America now and not in the Philippines and just deal. It's been 28 years. Why don't they understand that things are different now?

2/ I'm also tired of my parents being so racist. They make snide remarks in the car and think it's okay because the person can't hear them. Or that their remark is justified just because they say "I'm not prejudice, but..." before every damn rude thing they say.  I'm tired of them thinking that all black people are stupid and apathetic or that all white people are bad and out to get us and stuff like that. It's rude, I don't appreciate it, and I don't want my kids learning that from them if I ever have any.

3/ I hate working hard because I feel like everything I do goes unnoticed. I feel like I'm doing it all for nothing. I'm tired of watching people get what they want even though they don't work for it. I just wish that for once, my hard work would pay off.

4/ I only do good in school and worry about my grades because school is the only way I'm going to get out of my small, depressing town. I can't grow in the town I'm in and the only way I can get out is if I get into college. If I do good in high school, I can leave this place, go to a good university, let my best friend move in with me, and I can finally live the life I want; not the one I've been forced to.

5/ I hate being rich. It's made my family miserable. If I could, I would move out of this rich bitch neighborhood and leave all these grouchy, alcoholic, retired swingers behind me and go back to living happy.

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