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Planning for a day that should never come

*I'm so afraid that I'm turning into the guy who hurt me the most. I can see the same pattern when I talk to someone who likes me. I push them away and I make them feel like shit. I don't wanna be like him.
*I've been an alcoholic for 3 years and my family still doesn't know.
*I wish I could be pregnant, being a mom means so much to me.
*I was molested in the third grade by someone who I thought loved me so dearly. I still talk to him and he doesn't know I remember.
*I've been suicidal. I still think about it a lot and I know exactly how id do it if I ever needed to.

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