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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Beautiful to a stranger

* My self esteem is really low.  I have had times that I felt really good about myself but recently I feel awful.
* I want to be skinny.  Yet every time I get sad I eat.  If I get happy, I eat.  Any emotion makes me eat.  I don't understand why I use food in such a way that it just causes me to hate myself even more.
* I am not that big, as my second secret my suggest, but I hate who I am.  I use to be close to 300 pounds.  After getting pregnant and having a child I went from 300 to 190 pounds.  Now I can't lose anymore.
* I sometimes don't know how to respond when my boyfriend tells me I am beautiful.  I wonder where he sees that at.
* I am so tired of hearing people say they love me for my personality.  yes I like knowing I am a nice person but sometimes I just want to be beautiful to a stranger.  Someone that doesn't know my personality.

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