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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Cat at heart

1. I’m just so goddamn tired all the time. I’m depressive, I’m overweight, and I’m bored with my life right now.
2. I want to go back to the gym and start exercising again. I know I can lose weight if I try. A few months ago I dropped a picnic table on my foot (long story) and am almost positive I broke a bone in my foot. I wasn’t able to go to the doctor to have x-rays or treatment because I have no health insurance. So I’ve been suffering for quite a while and I can’t wear any shoes except flip-flops. Can’t walk on the treadmill or exercise in flip-flops! I just have to wait until my foot heals enough to put on tennis shoes without pain. Who knows when that will be?
3. My husband smothers me. He is really needy and touchy-feely. I am not. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode if he doesn’t back off. When I do make him leave me alone he gets mad and pouts like a little kid. That makes me hate him even more. He also sits around the house farting and scratching his balls--how freakin’ attractive, right? Ugh.
4. I have never been officially diagnosed, but I’m sure I have Aspergers Syndrome. My son is going to be evaluated for Aspergers and ADHD in less than two weeks. I’m scared and kinda freaked out about it. It’s one thing to know your own fucked-up-edness, but it’s entirely another to find out your kid has the same thing. I’m afraid for him. And, truth be told, I’m afraid for me too.
5. In our house we have three cats, a dog, a ferret, a guinea pig, a bird, and some fish. I love having animals around me--they love me unconditionally and purely. Cats are my best animal friends. I identify myself most with cats--if I were an animal, that’s what I would be.

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