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Sunday, July 25, 2010

The most personal choice of all


* I made the choice to completely dedicate my life back to God. Its been the best days since I did this. Actually that is not a secret, I would shout that from the rooftops. 
* I don't know why I can't get my ex to understand why I don't want to have sex with him anymore. He has never known what it meant to have a relationship with Christ and he doesn't understand how I could do it and then just stop like I did. That's part of the commitment.
* I want to still be friends with my ex but because we have always been physical he has made it very clear that he will still try and I don't want to constantly be around that pressure.
* I would love to see my ex go down this road with me. It's a hard road but the reward is great. I just can't make him understand that God is awesome and he still works in amazing ways. He says that God has never done anything for him. Wow, he is still breathing and has a roof over his head. All the times he should have died and didn't, gotta be a reason for that.
* I don't know if my ex will ever understand where I am and where I want to go. I was raised in church just got away from it. He never was and I am not sure he has ever heard enough to understand. His heart is so hard that I don't think he will ever give it a chance and I don't say alot about it because I don't want him to think I am preaching at him. He gets real defensive when he thinks someone is trying to shove God in his face. 
Bonus: Truthfully I am not sure what to do at this point. Continue to pray about it is all I can do. 

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