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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Wonderful

* Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had done so many things differently.  I married a man that I should not have married all because I was pregnant.  I moved to a different state to be with him and knew absolutely no one there.  We ended up getting a divorce last year. I have had no contact with him whatsoever since Oct 2008.

* Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed with my ex boyfriend.  He was much younger than me and it seemed as if I were raising another kid.  It got so annoying sometimes but he absolutely adored me.  I left him for a high school crush that didn't work out.  I sometimes wonder where my ex is now.  I heard he was getting married to his ex before me. I don't want to be with him but sometimes I do think I should have stayed just to see what we could have made of it.

* Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didn't have a child right now.  I love my son with all my heart and I think he is my motivation to do alot of things.  I know I have to take care of him.  If I didn't have him there is no telling how bad my life would be right now.  My son is my everything and he is the reason I wake up every day.  I am so thankful God blessed me with him.

* Sometimes I wonder what life would be like with my boyfriend if he didn't have the type job he does.  He is away from home a long time.  I have plenty of time to spend with friends, spend time with my son and even get to know myself. I had gotten to a point that I was so codependent on a man that I didn't know if I could make it on my own.  I wonder if he were home all the time if we would get along as well as we do.  This relationship seems way to perfect to be real.  I am not complaining.  I love him with all my heart.  I just have never felt so loved by a man before.  Maybe this is my soulmate. Maybe fairy tales really do come true.  It seems that way.

* Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had a better education.  If I had not quit school and decided to be grown just because I was 18.  I never made the best grades but it was mostly because I didn't apply myself.  I have taken a few college course and passed with flying colors.  I am not dumb just never did the work back then.  Now I am ready to give it a shot again just don't know where to get started.


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