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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Breaking boundaries

1. I keep getting compliments on how good I look, how much weight I've lost. I thank them not telling them I have cancer and I'm slowly dying.
2. I accidently killed my neighbors cat driving into my driveway last year. I was afraid to tell her so I put the cat in the road and pretended shock when she found it the next morning, thinking it had been struck by a car.
3. I slept with a married man when his wife was out of town, his children sleeping in the next room.
4. I've cheated on my wife with over 112 men in the past three years, and am on my way to fuck another right now.
5. I like to purposely break plates, glasses, and on occasion will steal silverware at dinner parties, always feigning clumsiness. I love to see the mixture of anger, shock and dismay in the hosts face, all while trying to maintain courtesy and hospitality.

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