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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dedicated to Homer the Hedgehog


1. I feel lonely. I don't have any friends. And its not that I'm strange or dumb or hideous, I just lost everyone. I don't know how to make friends either. I can't find a job, I don't have any hobbies or discernable talents. I try to be as social as possible when I'm out.... but I'm still alone. I mean, seriously what am I supposed to do?

2. My bf (literally the only person I talk to) just told me I don't do it for him anymore. He sugar coated it, of course. He might as well have poured salt in my eyes and spit in my OJ. I don't know how to be a better anything to him.

3. I'm fat. Well that's not a secret.... but it just sucks. Especially since I bust my ass at the gym 5 days a week and eat well.... my body hates me. And when I say fat I don't mean "waaahhhh the skin on my belly is gross" I mean I'm 5'10 and weigh 215 Ibs. Yes, disgusting I know.

4. I feel bad about posting only sad secrets. So on the bright side, I'm considering buying myself a hedgehog. They're adorable :)

5. Sometimes, like right now, I'll lay in bed and cry. I think about everything I can't control and how sad and pathetic my life is. My secrets are so depressing. Sorry everyone. Today is just not a good day for me. I promise to post something happier next time.

[Admin here: 5'10" and 215 is only 'fat' if you're on television or in the movies. I know that weight charts, magazines, and essentially all of popular media will tell you that you are overweight or even obese, but you're not. I'm an inch shorter than you and five pounds heavier. I don't consider myself fat and neither do my friends, family, or the guys standing in line to date me now that I'm single again. Don't believe the bullshit--everyone loves a woman with curves. I understand how you feel -- I spent all of high school lamenting my size 12 every time I looked at the girls who were 5 inches shorter than me in size 3s, but girls as tall as you and me just don't get that skinny and now I look back on those pictures and WISH I looked so damn hot. This bullshit superficial TV culture we live in just wants you to feel bad about yourself so you'll keep buying exercise equipment, diet pills, and all the other crap the multi-million dollar weight loss industry is hocking to make us all feel bad about ourselves. It's awesome that you work out five days a week, you're probably healthier than 90% of the girls that make you feel like crap about yourself. Human beings come in every shape and size and there is beauty in all of us. Don't you ever call yourself disgusting again. You are beautiful. And screw your boyfriend if you "don't do it for him." If he wants something else, send him packing. You don't have to put up with that shit.

And hey, hedgehogs are awesome. We had one named Homer when I was a kid. They are a little stinky, but not ferret-stinky, especially if you keep up with cleaning their cages regularly. Go for it, and remember to stay positive and love your life. We only get one! -- Kelly]

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