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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Facebook rehab


Gosh. Where do I start...
I love two people. I love one when we are apart, and I love the other when we are together. I don't know what to do, I cannot commit because I cannot choose. Sex with one is unbelievable..the other is weird. Sex, of course is better with the one I can be with and be happy, it is weird with the one I love when we are apart....love isn't about sex. Sex is that added connection, maybe that's why I only love him when we are apart.

I stalk my ex's on Facebook, religously. I haved deleted it multiple times. I need Facebook rehab!

I love it when my ex rapes me. (The one I love when we are together) it is honestly the best sex I have ever had. He calls me names and fucks me hard. He makes me orgasm so much, it is unbelievable.

I sometimes blame my actons on my fucked up past...all on my deadbeat dad! I fucking hate him so much. I think of ways to harm him every other day! Then I stop myself for making excuses!

I only want people around me to be happy. I live my life for others. I wish I could stop but the guilt I feel is too powerful. I lose sight of what I really want because others around me have all my attention. I need to learn how to be me, how to please me. It makes me hate people so much. I have no friends because I am sick of making other people happy. When is my turn!


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