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Friday, August 20, 2010

Penises of clay


1. I secrectly, fucking hate my best friend. She is a fucking lying, backstabbing, skanky ass bitch who has dated a lot of my ex boyfriends. Too bad I did the same thing to her. She goes after every guy I like, after telling her I like this person. How skanky can she be? It really pisses me off also how she blames shit on me, and say that I started this fight, or I started that, and tells her mom everything I fucking say that is private. I cannot trust this girl with anything anymore, and Im afraid to keep calling her my best friend. Weve known each other for what seems like forever, and if she sees this, i know shes gonna text me and be like wtf?. Whatever. I cant stand it anymore. And the fact that she's a lazy bitch bugs me. Get your fat ass up and off your computer, and do something. You only work out twice a week, and its only for a fucking hour each day. And she calls me lazy? I do sports 2 times a week, 3hours a day. And after that, i still go and work out. Im thinner than her, yet she calls me fat? Its sad. And the fact that im achieving one of my goals in school by becoming active, and actually being way better at it then she is, she has to break me down and tell me that i fucking suck at it, when ive been doing this since i was 3. Real nice of you, your such a good friend. Im always there for you when you cry, always there when you need to talk, always there to share amazing laughs, and amazing memories..and you give me nothing? That surely makes me feel wanted. So thank you, so fucking much.

2. Im extremely sick of my mothers bullshit. Shes a fucking bitch, and makes me do absolutely everything. If i try and talk back, she yells and screams at me. So does my father. I have a horrible relationship with my father, which has many times ended up with him punching me in the ribs knocking the wind out of me, and him threatening to kill me with a knife he was holding. I am not afraid to tell him i HATE him, because i do. I dont even consider that man a father because he is horrible. He pays more attention to my brother and sisters, and doesnt give a damn about me. Im more overweight then my siblings, and a tad more emo, and he makes fun of me for it. I cant stand it anymore. My mom, is the same. When she trys to comfort me we end up fighting. I used to have an amazing relationship with the both of them, and now i cannot even confide in them. Its terrible. I used to be able to go fishing with my dad, and have a great time, laugh with him, listen to music with him. Now i just feel awkward and weird around him. Im so upset and hurt by my family, I just dont feel i belong. And if i mess up once, its the end of the fucking world. I am way too old for my age, and it really pisses me off that im pulling everyone elses weight, and then they have the FUCKING NERVE TO SAY I DONT DO ANYTHING, THAT I SIT AROUND ON MY ASS ALL THE TIME. (Im sorry im venting, im just so hurt.) I cant stand it anymore!

3.I really cannot stand alot of people anymore, anything and everything ticks me off. I have a very bad temper, and can be very violent when angry. I will seriously fucking kill someone if i have to.

4.My cousins keep making a clay penis, and i want it to harden overnight so i can use it to masturbate.

5. Tomorrow I am going out with a guy, who im saying is actually gay, so SORRY MOM BUT FUCK YOU! :D

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