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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Slow, slow lover


I. When I was around 17, I started to cut myself. I have always felt shitty about my life and believed that I didn't belong anywhere. I did not want people to know about it so cut my chest. The first time I wrote 'shame' in across it. 'worthless' was the second word underneath it. It was painless. Only a select few have seen my chest. I'm not proud of it and it's a constant reminder now, whenever I take a shower, of a period in my life where everything went wrong. I do not regret it because it gave me understanding that I had to change in order for my life to get better and that is exactly what happen. It is strange that it made me a stronger person. 

II. Every single time I'm on the mTa, I will see a girl and instantly get a crush on her. There are so many cute girls out there, that everyday I find a different girl when I spot her from afar I take quick glances at her and just get lost on her beauty. Her eyes darting at the map trying to find her destination. The faint smile when she is admiring the skyline cause she is a tourist. As well as a dozen of other reasons. Don't worry though I'm no creep, not many girls would like an approach from a random a stranger in an unusual setting. I snap back and go back to listening my music & doing my own thing.

III. I do not know how to swim and because of it I don't like going to the beach or anywhere where my shirt has to be taken off (the 1st secret does not bother me or makes me feel insecure about others looking at me, I have a high self esteem and I know they will never understand). I have tried learning how to and I can half-ass it if I try. The few times I have gone I stayed at chest level. Though there were 2x's where I almost drowned. My dad saved me the first time, I was 9, the 2nd time I had a friend pull me back to shore. I still wanna try but for now I'm sure glad beach season is almost over.

IV. I feel like I am a fantastic lover, though this could be an opinion. I take my time whenever I'm with the ladies. A portion of the time is spent on foreplay, about 20-30 mins is spent on kissing her, massaging her, and going down on her. In that time frame it is all about her pleasures. I love a wet pussy on my face, I would stay on her for as long as possible. I want to get her worked up to the point where she is begging me to fuck her. Sometimes they come back for more other times I never see them again, but I hope they remember their time spent with me.

V. There is this girl I really like and have liked for a long time. I asked her out about five times already and every time she was busy. Is this a sign? I don't know, but hell, I do not care cause she has me feeling a feeling I have not felt in years. Even though she has said no many times she has had express interest in wanting to hang out with me, but how many times must she say no before I finally move on?-- Hey K, I heard you were single, how about you and I stroll on a sun setting beach and have a candle light dinner, how does that sound? lol. Seriously, I hope you're doing great, stay awesome :)

[Admin here: You had me until you said 'lol'. Sigh.]

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