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Monday, August 16, 2010

Three sons

They don't actually say so, but I think my folks would rather me be dead than happy.

I'm constantly afraid of abandonment at the drop of a hat.

I'm in love with Poppy, from Happy-Go-Lucky.  She's one of my heroes.  I want to emulate her personality.

My dad really had three sons, not two sons and two daughters.  But neither he nor my mom will acknowledge that.  My family will stop talking to me if the rest of them find out, I know it.  And one "friend" hasn't talked to me in two years after I came out to her.

In my rape fantasy, I'm the rapist.

Sometimes I fantasize about children.  That's another reason I'm scared to have kids.  I'll hurt them.

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