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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Too little too late

Most nights I cry myself to sleep. I'm just so stressed. Trying to raise a son. Have a job. Somewhat of a life. Trying to save money to move. My checks aren't great. ANd my son's dad thinks $50 for child support is great. FOr a month. Before his dad went to Ait. HE didn't care bout his family.. 4weeks ago I left him. 

He come's back next week and thinks he can walk right back into our lives. He's put our son in danger so many time's I always believed he would changed. NOw he said he has but I Don't want him back. 

Idk how things are gonna change when he does come home. I mean I'm not going back. I want Wat's best for my son. I am honestly afraid of him..  

I think bout the retard I like. Just because I Don't have to pretend to be Happy.. or anything else.  I think bout him all the time..  I like him for him.  But he doesn't understand that.

I think bout cutting all the time..

Discuss this post.

1 comment:

  1. I can so feel your pain leaping off the screen at me. I am also a single mother and very stressed out. I don't make enough money for anything. It sometimes seems as if I am working for free. However, I remind myself that my bills are paid. My son and I have a roof over our heads and everything we need. My son even has most of what he wants. I hate that I can't give him a complete family like I had for so long but his dad was a complete jerk and I didn't want my son growing up listening to the way his father talked to me every day. I want him to grow up and respect women.
    When your child's father comes back to town I would advice not starting a relationship with him. If the two of you broke up for issues you had then the issues are probably still going to be there if you get back together.
    Never be afraid of a man. I am sure you have other men in your life that would take care of you should anything he says scare you. Being afraid is definantly not a reason to take him back. Think about your son and how you want him to treat his wife when he gets older. Being in a bad relationship will teach him to disrespect women and I am sure you don't want that.
    I didn't really understand that next secret. Who is a retard? And who do you think about all the time? Your son's father? I guess I can't comment on that one cause I don't really understand where you are going with it.
    You don't really want anything to happen to your son's mother. You have to take care of you and what if you are 'cutting' one day and cut too deep or something goes wrong? You will leave your son without a mother. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I don't think you want that for your baby. I know I sure wouldn't. Maybe seeing that others are in your same situation will help. I know I am there but I love my child so much that I keep pushing on every day.


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