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Wishin' and Hopin'

1) i cut my wrists several times when i was 14. I was too young and i didn't know how to handle things that happened around me at that time . Thank God for helping me going through everything .
2) i was a tomboy and i even went after a girl. But she rejected me. Luckily she did that otherwise i have no idea what i would become. Til today i have been involved in four relationships and they are all men. 
3) few years back there was a time i kept watching porns.
4) my best friend that i had been loving the past 3years is the guy who hurts me the most. After all the things i had done, what i earned is him telling me that he starts a new relationship exactly on my birthday. 
5) i have developed a huge crush on a guy that i have just met few times. We went out for dinner once with the presence of one of our mutual friends but i guess he doesn't feel the same for me. He didn't even ask for my number. It is really hard for me to meet him unless i ask him out because we study in different colleges. I really have no idea what to do so i pray to God every night.

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