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Basic training blues

Its my second time cutting.. and it didn't hurt at all.. seemed to be the cure for my sadness. It seemed to help the tears

I'm extremely shallow and vain, yet I have the lowest self esteem.

I'm such a jealous girl.. I get mad when my bf stares at any chick.. I can't help it I'm afraid of loosing him.

Everytime I shower I masturbate;)

I'm extremely scared that I might never see my bf again after he leaves for basic.. I cry everynight knowing that its only a couple of months before he leave. He knows that I cut myself the first time he doesn't know about this time.. when he leaves I might just go crazy.. ugh.. I'm already a little insane.. 

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