Remind me to avoid government work

1.  When I was 14 I was terrified that someone was going to break into my parents big house and kill us.  If fact I was so scared that I would have nightmares about waking up to find a madman in our kitchen chopping up my parents with a meat cleaver while grinning maniacally at me.  

2.  I am almost 30 now and still have messed up dreams such as above, but what makes it worse is that I am a mother to a two year old.  She sleeps with me and I think this is the only way I am able to sleep.  :(

3.  I love food way too much but I hate it too.  I hate that I crave it and lack self control.  If I could take a pill that would psych me into not eating anything but fruits and veggies and rice cakes I would.  I'm not obese, but am on the fast track if I don't change my ways.  Fat people upset me.  :(

4.  Sometimes I accidentally say inner monologue outloud.  This is embarrassing and I really can't control it.  It happens mainly when I'm tired or pissed off about something.  One day this will no doubt get me into trouble.  :(

5.  I want to be a better person.  I want to have more empathy for people but some people just make me so angry, such as people that take advantage of others in a vindictive way.  This includes people who cheat the government when there are people out there who really need help and can't get it because some lazy sack of shit refuses to work for their family.  Working for the government has made me this way.  :(

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