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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Trust me, it's better with you here


1.  First of all let me say I am VERY thankful for my life.  The good, bad, and the ugly.. I feel like I have so many things inside that need to come out.  I have not been faithful to my husband. It happened with one person who has been special to me since my teenage yrs.  He happened to fall back into my life.  But now i am back on track.. Thankfully.

2.  I dont like being dishonest.  It is against my every value.  I am a very honest person.  I have beaten myself up emotionally.  I have been seeing a therapist and It sucks because he has also been doing marital counseling as well.  I cant be totally honest with the therapist.  I have NO self esteem, NO self respect, NO self worth.  Sometimes I think life would be better for everyone if I werent here.  But I beleive that is selfish.  

3.  I hate my work. I used to love my job.  I have this asshole with a major anger problem who works here.  He scares that crap out of me and makes me very very nervous.

4.  I fell back in love with the other man.

5.  As much as I hate myself for crossing the line, I dont regret the time I had with him.  He will forever be in my heart.  I believe that I will always be in his heart as well.  

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