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Sunday, September 5, 2010

Waiting in vain

1. I'm going to do it. I'm going to wait for him. 

2. I love him A LOT and he doesn't know it yet. Even though he will be 3,00000000 miles away, I'm going to still be there when he needs me. 

3. I haven't been reading my bible lately. So concentrated on school...I feel so guilty. I've questioned this decision many times. I've made it a yes and I've made it a no. But something inspired me to make this decision a "yes". I feel like it's what I need to do. I love the suspense of not knowing what's going to happen. I will risk most of my life for him. It's ok though. It's good to risk your life for someone you truly care about. 

4. I've been tempted to turn to alcohol because of this pain I have inside me, it hurts so bad. I love him so much. But I'm not, I won't do it!  Bad habit to get into and I don't need that right now.  I need to pray more. Trying to balance God and School and a loved one is tough. But I will do this. I will get through this journey. I need your help and support! Most of all your prayers.

5. I can't sleep. I think so much, about him. Every night, day, sec, min, hour.  Pretty soon it will be years.  I've made my decision. I'm going to wait for you and I'm going to be there in the end. You know who you are. 

p.s. wish me luck.

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