1. I think about dying every night.
2. I would've killed myself last night if it wasn't for her.
3. I cry myself to sleep at least four nights a week.
4. I'm terrified of death.
5. I hate my best friend.
[Admin here --
Whoever "her" of #2 is, the world owes her a debt of gratitude. Loosing even one more person to the single most preventable cause of death is a tragedy and I'm glad that thus far you've avoided it.
Obviously you are at a pretty bad place in your life. I, along with many Five Secrets readers, have been there. Whatever it is that is bothering you so much, try to ask yourself if this is something that will truly matter in a year, two years, five years. Many of the things that get each of us down are so transient -- and death is so permanent. Your fear of the death is well founded -- survival instinct is born in each of us. Follow those instincts and try to sit down and see what you can do to change the things in your life that are making you so unhappy, and for those things that are beyond your control, acknowledge them and do the best you can in spite of them. If it's an option, don't be afraid to seek out professional help -- sometimes all you need is an objective outside perspective. We all have challenges in our lives and I firmly believe that each and every one of those challenges is an opportunity for growth and learning if you let them be. Good luck. I hope you start feeling better soon.
-K]
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This made me teary.....I too am thankful for 'her'.....glad she was there with u.
ReplyDeleteLike the admin said, death is so permanent and most of the things that make us wish our time was now are transient......
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I am also glad "she" was there for you. You just need to realize there is a lot of good in the world and a lot of good, understanding people. Sometimes it may not seem that way but you need to have a broader perspective. If you want to see how really fortunate you are visit your nearest children's hospital. There are many sweet, innocent young children under the age of 5 battling cancer and other ailments fighting for their lives. Start living your life as though each day was your last, not with risks to your well being but by enjoying the simple things such as the beauty of birds in flight, the feel of the warm sun, how a smile can change someone's day.
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