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No atheists in foxholes

1. I've been in multiple relationships and have had sex with over 15 people. I'm never satisfied with one person. I don't consider myself a slut, just unhappy. And I feel like ill never find someone that will love me for who I am. I'm in a relationship now but he's deployed until march. I cheated on him once.

2. I take an antidepressant everyday to avoid having panic attacks. It also helps me not sleep so much. I can sleep for up to 16 hours. 20 if I wanted to. No one knows that I'm depressed. I act happy so they don't think somethings wrong with me.

3. The only real friend I have, moved far far away. I only get to see her once a year. She's the only person I trust. Now I have nobody. I've isolated myself from the world because I'm afraid of getting hurt and because girls annoy the hell out of me. I have a lot of guy friends but nobody I can turn to or really trust.

4. I still have feelings for my ex. He was my first. We were together for 8 years. I cheated on him multiple times but never felt bad about it. Now I do. He's heavy into drugs (meth, coke and weed) and I feel like its my fault. I told him I wish things turned out different between us, but I lied. I secretly wish he would die.

5. Once my boyfriend comes home, I think he will be my life boat. I'm ready to stop being so difficult and I want to settle down. I'm done messing around with different guys. I want him to be the one that takes all my pain away and to love me for who I am... I know he will. I pray to God that he will. I don't even believe in God.

Gender: n/a
Sexual Orientation: n/a

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