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2011 is right around the corner

1. Im 17+. I never been on a date before, never been kissed, never been asked out on a date before. It's really sad. And i feel like a loser and an ugly girl that no guy will ever love.. sigh. It really gets to me sometimes.. seeing lovey dovey couples walking down the street etc. It's fustrating and really.. really..sad but i act like it doesnt bother me at all. I act like im just this happy go lucky chick but inside, it hurts like hell seeing all my friends in a relationship. :'C
2. I have a best friend that only contacts me when her boyfriend is annoying her. And im like, wth. I just listen. She expects me to give her advice but, really, i feel like shouting to her face " wht the hell do i know about boys?!?!? " but seriously.. it sucks. Im always the listener coz i got no interesting/exciting stories to tell. Yup, my life is boring.
3. Ok. I really wish my grandma is still here with me, really miss her. And now i feel like crying coz she left us just like that. I didnt even have a chance to say goodbye. She died when i was 15. And i feel like i.. i just miss her so much right now. Breaks my heart to see her go just like that. I didn't really appreciate her and now i regret not letting her know that i love her so much. The love is still there. I still need you. I miss you and I love you so much eventho I haven't heard ur voice in more than 2 years..
4. I lost my best friend of nine years, this year. We just stopped contacting and stuff. I dont want to be the one who blames people, but really its her fault. I tried texting her and im-ing her but she always says shes busy. I mean cmon, just stop doing whtever u are doing for five minutes and talk to me dammit. I guess she doesnt appreciate me anymore. So after a few tries of contacting her, i stopped trying. I mean, whts the use if she doesnt wanna talk anymore. But hah, its ur lost, buddy..
5. Wht really affects my life is my first secret . I dont have anyone to talk  to about that so i nvr ever get any advice from anyone about that before. Its really sad and i think im ugly coz of this. When i look at the mirror, im like, whos that ugly girl? Sigh. Sad huh... i feel that nobody wants me. 2010 really sucks. Nth good ever hppens.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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