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Original prankster

1. I pick my nose in private

2. I'm doing the Atkins and it makes you pee all the time.  I went to a public convenience, there was a creepy guy there.  I went to my customers premises and stopped in the same convenience after.  It was 2 hours later and the same creep was still there in the same place.  He works my local grocery store and is like 50 yo.  Ick.

3. My sister lied on her job application about her qualifications and got the job.  I'd never tell, but it's not right; she has deprived someone with genuine good grades of that position.

4. My neighbours cat keeps pooping in our garden and it really tears up the plants when it makes a half-assed attempt to bury the waste.  I put my friend's pit bull in the garden every day for 2 weeks.  It got the cat and tore it up pretty good.  The dog was always gone before the neighbour came home. It cost 400 bucks for the vet to patch the cat up.

5. We were in my friends house eating junk food.  I took an egg from a basket on his table and put it on his seat just before he sat down.  He thought it was my other friend, and threw a pint of water over him, my other friend got up and punched the egged friend.  It went totally nuts in about 5 seconds.  Then his Dad turned up and kicked us all out.  Never meant to cause mayhem but it was too funny.  I'm still giggling about it as I write this.

Gender: male
Sexual Orientation: straight

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