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Unexplained difference

One. I want to have a bigger purpose in life. Something other-worldly.

Two. Related to number one, I wish I was something like an angel.

Three. The reason being that there's something very wrong with me. It sounds crazy, and maybe it is, but I have this unexplainable difference in my life that I know only I have because it would be impossible for two people to have this at the same time. But then again, it shouldn't be possible that I have this so maybe I'm wrong.

Four. I'm completely normal besides this one thing. I have normal thoughts and feelings. The only difference is number three and because of that I desperately need numbers one and two. I need there to be a reason I have this. Otherwise I'm just crazy.

Five. My preffered ways of dying are either in my sleep or saving someone, so atleast I'd have some kind of impact on a life. But I'm terrified of death.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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